Could have had it all
by gleek06216
Summary: St. Berry Past, puckleberry present fic that goes along loosely with the Rolling in the Deep song from last weeks episode.


**Rolling in the deep one shot. Past St. Berry with Puckleberry present. it popped into my head after the song started playing. Hope you all enjoy! **

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><p>"Rachel.. It's good to see you. How've you been?"<p>

"What are you doing here, Jess?"

"I missed you, babe. I just had to see you"

"We can't do this anymore, Jesse. I can't see you anymore. It's too much"

She turned away just as she heard the first words of

_There's a fire starting in my heart_

And just like that she was transfered back to how it almost was.

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><p><strong>Flashback after junior Prom<strong>

_"I can't believe Finn would do that! We were just dancing and I just told him yesterday that he had no right interfering in my personal life anymore so what's he do? Gets Jesse kicked out of prom. I can't believe his nerve!" Rachel ranted and raved while Sam tried to calm her down._

_"I know, Rach. What Hudson did was out of line but you've got to try and forget about it..at least for now. Have a little fun. Come on, dance with me"_

_She couldn't refuse the smile or the words from her new friend so she let him drag her to the dance floor and for the rest of the night she did have fun dancing with her fellow glee clubers but it wasn't as she had dreamed it should be._

_As soon as she walked out of the school she dug her phone out of her purse to call Jesse but before she could hit send, she heard "Finally, I've been waiting for ages"_

_"Jesse?"_

_"Were you expecting Hudson?" Jesse asked, glaring at the name._

_"Of course not. What are you still doing here?"_

_"Waiting on my date, of course. Shall we head out?"_

_And with a quick word to Sam and Mercedes, they left and quickly fell back into how they used to be, how they should have been. Whirlwind dates of concerts and shows, dinners and picnics, group outings with her friends and luncheons with his parents. It was a perfect year for them both, and then he went and ruined it, again._

_"I love you, Rachel. You know I do but I have to do this. It's an amazing opportunity for me. You have to understand, you're a star like me"_

_Even as the tears were falling and her heart was breaking she replied, stonily "If you leave again, Jess, know that's it. You won't be able to sing your way back into my life again."_

_"Don't be like that Star"_

_"Don't star me, Jesse. Go do your movie, sleep with whatever actresses throw themselves at you, do whatever the hell you want but don't come crying to me when it blows up in your face. If you leave, I won't be here anymore, not for you"_

_He was obviously shocked by her words but all he did he was kiss her forehead, whisper "I love you, my star, goodbye" and leave her more hurt and broken then when he had egged her. This time she had really thought they were going to have it all._

**End of flashback**

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><p>"I told you before, Jess, there will be no singing your way back in this time. Goodbye"<p>

And she walked out as he continued to sing, sure she would come back. She didn't but his phone went off. Rachel never one to delete numbers in case she may need them again one day, had sent him a text. He grinned, thinking that he had been right. That she wouldn't be able to leave it the way she did but the smile quickly faded as he read what she had sent.

**Rachel: **You could have had it all

That was it but he knew what it meant, it was Rachel's goodbye for good and his heart broke as he sat down and realized what he threw away.

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><p>Noah came home because of Santana's text that she couldn't get a hold of Rachel and he was worried since she wasn't answering his calls either. Letting himself in the door, he heard a familiar song blaring through the house.<p>

"Fuck" he cursed as he quickly searched the house until he found her, in their room, curled on her side crying her eyes out.

"Rach, babe what happened?"

She turned, eyes red and puffy from crying and said, "He came back"

He lay down beside her, pulling her to him, having already assumed this, seeing as the rolling in the deep song was blaring through their home but he kept quiet, letting her say what she needed.

"He walked in the auditorium after I ended glee practice, and acted as if all would just go back now that he was there. When I told him I was with someone and turned to leave he started singing this damn song and..." She broke down and he held her tighter.

It had taken over two years to get her through what St. Jerk had put her through when he left. It took him, Santana, Sam and Quinn all to get her back to her former Berry glory. Then another year before he could get her to date him. They were graduating college before she agreed to marry him and then she surprised him by saying she wanted to move back to Lima and teach instead of their plans to stay in New York. Sam and Quinn lived at home still but Santana and Matt stayed in New York, visiting frequently as possible but it wasn't the same. They managed though and slowly after another year, they were getting their lives on track so of course the bastard would chose now to come sweeping back in.

"Do you want me to talk to him, babe?" He asked, containing the anger he was feeling and managing to sound calm.

She shook her head, wiping the tears as she said, "He understood my last words, now I'm just letting him go completely. I'm sorry, I know this must be upsetting you that I'm so upset after all this time."

He kissed her head, shaking his head, "He was your first real love, babe, it's hard to let that go. I understand. You need to call Satan though, she's worried you went to hell without her"

"NOAH!" She yelled, hitting him even as she laughed and wiped the last of her tears away, "That was inappropriate and I"m so going to tell her you said that" She warned, glaring though the smile was making it lose effectiveness.

"Oh no, don't tell Satan on me." He teased, happy to see the smile, small though it was.

She kissed him softly and whispered, "Thank you for understanding"

He nodded, "Always Rach, I love you.

"Love you too." She smiled, getting up turning the song off, pulling the cd out of the player and snapping it in half before throwing it away and grabbing her phone and dialing.

Last thing he heard as she walked out was, "Sorry San, long story but it ends in, I'm taking a vacation next week and Noah and I are flying out"

Rolling his eyes at the impromptu plans she didn't bother to let him in on, he grabbed his cell phone and called Burt to arrange time off, as he pulled their suitcases out from the closet and put their song of Sweet Caroline on instead. Winking and blowing her a kiss when she popped her head in the door to see what he was doing.

"Thank you" She mouthed, walking out again.

He smiled as he realized that he couldn't be mad at St. Jerk anymore. He could have had it all but instead he left it and that gave Noah his chance to prove they could and would have it all instead. Yep he'd definitely have to thank the man if he ever saw him again, after he punched his lights out for making his girl cry, that is.


End file.
